Family retreats are an essential tool in sustaining wealth over generations. These retreats create opportunities to develop common worldviews, align values and dream about the future. However these opportunities are often not effective at best or down-right destructive at worst. What may seem like a good idea at the time can fall flat or even become the occasion for family flare-ups that are difficult to resolve. So, what makes for a good family retreat? We have found that there are five critical elements:
1. Develop a defined outcome. Successful family retreats have realistic and clearly defined outcomes that are based on input from the entire family and that are known going into the meeting by every participant. These outcomes must be concrete, achievable and relevant to all. Having a defined outcome by the family leader that does not have input from others is a recipe for a poor or even destructive meeting.
2. Thoroughly prepare. Failure to prepare well is the single largest cause for family meetings that fall short of the anticipated goals. There is a great deal of design work that goes into making the meeting engaging and interesting for everyone. It is important that there should be no surprises and that the meeting is designed for the dynamics of the particular family. If one person is a troublemaker, that has to be anticipated. If the family hates sitting, that has to be factored into the design.
3. Bring solid content. The family should learn something about themselves as individuals and collectively. Family retreats are opportunities to gain family cohesion around certain ideas and perspectives. If the family is viewing itself from a unified framework, it makes decision making and conversation much easier. Communication and values assessment tools or simulation games can be great ways to create this sense of common framework.
4. Ensure effective process. Too often family leaders focus on the content of the meeting and do not think about the process involved in the discussion. Processes must be fair, open and engaging to ensure participation. While content is critical, it is usually process problems that derail communication and create problems.
5. Bring in outside facilitation. Family leaders should not facilitate family meetings for two reasons. First they are too close and often don’t see dynamics in play until they are too late. Outside facilitation brings objectivity and perspective. Second, it is almost impossible to participate in a family retreat and facilitate it at the same time. The facilitator has to step back from full engagement to monitor the process. Taking the family leader out of the game in this way is almost always counterproductive.
— May 31, 2011